Last night one of my fabulous members asked me to share it on our closed FB group page and I thought before I do that I need to share it with the people that have been there from the beginning.YOU, my friends, family and readers.
In highschool I never struggled with weight in fact I was probably a little underweight. I have this memory from when I was about 17 and jumping on a scale in my boyfriends mums bathroom and being so proud of the scale saying 54kgs. Goodness if my 17 year old self ever knew that it would one day read nearly 100kgs I probably would have passed out and never ate again!
Towards the end of school and into my early 20s my weight moved a little but I was never overweight. It was only when I entered into what turned out to be a bad relationship and dealt with depression that my weight spiralled out of control! I am a very emotional person and someone that finds HUGE comfort in making and eating food. When I am happy and especially when I am sad!
2 years into my relationship things went a bit sour and I began to eat. As things got worse and the more depressed I got, the more my appetite grew and the more I ate. At one point I could eat a large dominos pizza in one go with sides and wash it down with a litre of coke! And when it came to binging... goodness I could eat a whole loaf of bread made into cheese on toast if I wanted. Of course that sort of thing was done without anyone knowing or when my husband was at work. Id be ashamed to eat like that in front of anyone. As I got bigger, things got harder, people ...so called friends made comments and even my relationship went even more south! A once hugely confident girl began to hate herself and I mean HATE! When my relationship began to reach breaking point I went to Greece for a girls holiday, which holds very special memories for me and finally gave me the courage to break free but it also made me realise how big I had actually got. When I saw myself in some of the photos I cried!...infact I am crying now because I can still remember that pain I felt when I looked at myself. What had I done to myself.
The next year , after my marriage had ended I began to find myself again, I began to lose weight but it was through fad diets, exercise I never stuck to or expensive personal training and it was only a matter of time before something would happen in my life that would send me back down the road of depression and over eating. I was a ticking time bomb with no way of disarming myself. In the summer of 2012 I met my Pan, who I call my knight in a white hoody ( there is a story behind that) . He made me smile, and rescued my heart from feeling unloved. Things were good! I then fell pregnant with my Benji, unexpected but wonderful. However it was that point that the bomb began to tick once more. My depression sprang out of control as my hormones went all over the place. I was so ill, so depressed and so lost. I became a recluse and spent the good part of a year on a sofa only going out with Pan and always hiding my true self when out, making people think I was fine. After Ben was born again I managed to lose some weight, again using silly diets and exercise I never stuck with and of course the weight came back. Then in 2013 my life came to a halt and I was diagnosed with stage 2 Hodgkin's Lymphoma. Something so scary and so hard to deal with I cant even explain. I began to eat and with the added steroids I was on began to eat even more. My weight ballooned and in just 6 short months! I put on 2 stone and nearly reached 16 stone (100kgs) I actually don't know the exact amount because when I got 97kgs I stopped weighing myself. I would cry every time I looked in the mirror and go into melt down when it came to getting dressed to go out! I was miserable. But then I made a decision that changed my life FOREVER!
In August 2014 I walked into and joined Slimming World, at that point I had no idea what it would do for me , I was just so nervous and so broken. But after group and hearing and seeing I wasn't the only person who felt like I did, something changed in me...I think it was the feeling of hope and the feeling that I had found something that could finally break this habit of over eating and help me gain control of my life. A few weeks in the lbs began to drop, I began to smile, I began to live life again. Slimming World was like a dream, I could eat the food I loved and I could cook the food I loved but instead of my weight going up it went down. I made friends, I became part of a community, I began to trust people and food again. I began to love me again. By the time my year anniversary to beating cancer came along I had lost what I had gained during my treatment. And have since lost even more!
Slimming World gave me my life back and in 2015 gave me one more gift and that was a new career.
Towards the end of last year I became a consultant and opened my first group in November! I cannot even begin to tell you how much I LOVE it and how fulfilling it is. I am giving to people what I needed and wanted so badly! A solution , an end to their struggle with weight. I'm helping people gain control of their lives and being able to be part of that journey with my special members is just so amazing. I am passing on what Slimming World gave to me.
The reason Slimming World works for me and can work for you is because its not a diet, its a new way of life, its healthy eating. Its maintainable, your whole family can join in and if you want that piece of cake you can eat it and eat it I DO! It's a goal, resolution what ever you want to call it, that if you are struggling with weight should give/make for yourself.
This year I am determined to reach my target, and of course life does get in the way sometimes and lbs go up instead of down but with Slimming World you can draw a line under the bad days and start again witch is just amazing. Being to hard on yourself can send you on a downward spiral and being able to draw a line under a bad days can really help to get you back on track. I am feeling so determined infact that yesterday bought myself my target dress. Its so beautiful, so sparkly and a very small size 12! I tried it on and I am not to far off but with some determination that dress will fit perfectly and will make me look and feel a million bucks! gosh I cant wait!! :) My SW journey will never really come to an end because I will forever be challenged by life but I will NEVER go back to how I was because I was given the tools, the support and the friendship that I needed to be able to deal with those challenges and fight through them coming out stronger and skinnier at the other end!
So there you have it my story... not finished yet but a story I am no longer embarrassed to share.
Here are a few photo's from my journey.
Before
Most of these didn't make it on FB or were cropped as I was to ashamed!
Summer to Summer
Zante after my last chemo and Spain last year.
My first Target member as a Consultant
Me and my lovely member Dot! She hit target just before Christmas! She has lost just over 5 stone her last stone being with me! So proud of her!
I am so proud of you my friend xx
ReplyDeleteThis is truly an amazing story - thank you for sharing it and giving confidence to so many - wish I could come to your group. Keep up the great work :)
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